When I Don’t Conquer My Days I Retreat To Self-Compassion

Today I had a hard day. One thing after another. Each time I tried to stay calm, anger showed up instead.

As a practicing Buddhist, a student and as a teacher of the Tibetan Buddhism, I should know better, shouldn’t I?

Well, maybe. But that’s not the point here nor is Buddhism preaching righteousness even when it comes to spiritual growth.

What’s important is how I dealt with this difficult day. I’m sharing few tips in hope that each and one of you can take some of it, if not all, away.

When I Don't Conquer My Days I Retreat To Self-Compassion

1. I’ve noticed my low energy and used my morning meditation to tell myself with kindness that whatever comes today, might hurt more than yesterday purely because I woke up with a lower physical energy and feel more sensitive.

2. Throughout the day my self-judgment grew yet each time I responded to it with a thought such as “everything passes and so shall this” to “you’re allowed to have a day like this, just keep the drama of it out of the equation”.

3. When anger hit me, I didn’t beat myself up. I forgave myself and retreated into a loving mother to a child. I licked my wound, covered myself in a blanket, cooked chicken soup and continued doing my work, knowing that mamma loves the kiddo today!

4. I imagined Buddha sitting next to me and asked gently: what’s worse today, me experiencing anger or beating myself with some more? I’m sure you figured what the answer was.

5. I decided to physically retreat. So I canceled my planned event not with a lousy excuse (a polite white lie!) but with the truth. I shared how my hard day felt and that I’m not in a positive state of mind.

When we suffer, bringing more suffering by beating ourselves up won’t really do much good. It will only cause more suffering.

When we think we failed at something or it’s just not working today, maybe the writing on the wall says:
“Take a break from it! Retreat! Make a chicken soup! Even just a chicken soup for your soul.”


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